10 Books Lindsay Lohan Read While In Prison

Discussion in 'The Water Cooler' started by reghakr, Aug 23, 2010.

  1. reghakr

    reghakr Excellent Member

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    According to reports, Lindsay Lohan could be free from rehab early. Thus, our long national nightmare is over. She served thirteen days in prison and a little over two weeks in rehab. That is about a month Lindsay has had to sit, reflect, do her nails and maybe learn a thing or two about herself.

    EgoTV was lucky (kidding–no luck involved) greased some palms to get some inside information about Lindsay’s time in jail and in rehab. The most interesting piece of information was all of the reading material Ms. Lohan was able to devour in the month she was out of the spotlight and away from the club scene. It seems from the book titles and topics she is hell bent on making the most of this eye opening experience and is trying to make herself a better all-around person. That or the prison library seriously needs some donations.
    Here are ten of the books LiLo read on her mini-vacation.

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    The Chicken Soup series is immensely popular so why shouldn’t there be an edition for all the people wasting away behind bars. They are still humans after all. Some of the chapters Lindsay found most informative were “How To Be OK When Your Bitch Walks Away”, “Showers Are For Cleaning, Not For Stabbing”, “A Convict’s Letter To That Whore Ex-DJ Girlfriend” and “You Never Know Who is Listening. In The Next Stall. While You Take Deep Sniffs.”

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    Lindsay probably wasn’t allowed to mingle with the common prisoners and most likely spent a majority of her time in her own cell. Just because she can’t get to the gym or isn’t allowed to take a few laps around the prison yard doesn’t mean it’s time to quit on her exercise program. She has tons of roles to get ready for when she gets out and needs to be in top physical shape. She is gonna be in that…well there is that…well she is rumored to star in…is it too late to get on Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab?

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    Does Lindsay have an eating disorder? Hard to say, especially because it could just be all the booger sugar. She must know someone with an issue because she was brushing up on both Bulimia and Anorexia. Could it be her sister Ali or mom Dina with the eating disorder? It could be Sam Ronson, who looks like she hasn’t had a hot sandwich, or bath for that matter, since the Parent Trap. The original version in the 60’s.

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    Lindsay wants more than anything to live a normal, happy life. It’s almost as if she doesn’t have any idea how to act like a real person. This book helps her blend in with the rest of us “moderns”, giving helpful tips on how much to tip when a drug dealer delivers, the proper spoon to take off the table when preparing for your next fix and still saying “Please” and “Thank You” when you’re blackout drunk.

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    Lindsay wanted to protect herself while on the inside but this book will also come in handy when back in regular life. There are some crazy people out there that will do anything to get near a celebrity. This is so Lindsay will know what to expect the next time Lindsay gets too close to a celeb and they want to protect themselves. She’ll know what is coming. (Editor’s Note- Anyone else turned on by the Flashdance chick on the book cover? Just me? Ok, moving on.)

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    Lindsay celebrates the man’s entire catalog. I don’t think it gets any better than when Michael sings “When a Woman Loves a Woman”. Her other favorites include “How Can We Be Cellmates If We Can’t Be Friends?” and “Missing You Now (But I’ll Get You In The Cafeteria Bitch”. Micheal’s words and mane got Lindsay through many a lonely night
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    Before her sentencing, Lindsay was becoming quite the manicurist. This book helped her sharpen her skills and she brushed up on simple techniques so that the next time she finds herself in front of the judge her nails will send a much clearer message.

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    Because you gotta know how to train the p*ssy. Am I right ladies!?! High five. Alright.

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    This book Lindsay actually read by mistake. She thought it was going to be tips and suggestion for the celeb drug user. It was just all this preachy “drugs are bad” stuff. Did have some neat pictures of Hollywood friends though.

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    If he did, it would make for a reality show that could make all the Lohans very, very rich. Lindsay hoped for his return just so she can shank him in the middle of the night.
    (A special thanks to the blog Awful Library Books for having all these images available to “borrow”. Yes, sadly, all these books are very real.)

    Source: http://egotvonline.com/2010/08/23/10-books-lindsay-lohan-read-while-in-prison/
     
    #1 reghakr, Aug 23, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2010
  2. Highwayman

    Highwayman Extraordinary Member

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    She can read????? ok now I'm shocked
     

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