reghakr

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It’s hotter than Hades outside. You’re keenly aware that if you don’t get something cold to eat right now, your eyeballs are going to burst into flames. Barring that, you’re going to have to hop in an oven just to cool off.

But why join the ordinary rabble vying for vaguely phallic treats from the creepy white van parked outside of the playground? Instead, be one of the cool kids (and avoid possible abduction) by enjoying an icy, out-of-the-ordinary cool-off this summer.

And by out-of-the-ordinary, we mean so weird that you’ll want to scrub your tongue (and possibly your brain) after ingesting these hot weather abominations.

1.The Pickle Sickle



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It is a little known fact that pickles are fond of cannibalism.



What it is:
Okay, it’s easy to realize why someone just had to go ahead and create this one. The name rolls off the tongue just as easily as the pickle juice rolls onto it (at least, I’m sure that’s how it was marketed to the potential investors).

The Pickle Sickle is not, as you’d expect from the picture in the logo, a frozen pickle on a stick; it’s actually a frozen Link Removed due to 404 Error.

Why it’s the perfect summer treat:
The generally accepted, over-sugared, ADD-inducing pantheon of summer treats needs to get a makeover. Chances are, if you’re sitting there, melting in the hot sun, you’re going to need some electrolytes in addition to your ice water. This pickle pop is the perfect combination of salty and cold.
Probably the same creepy kids who pick their scabs and eat French fries with mayo.
Why you might want to scrub your tongue afterwards:
There’s a reason that most cold summer treats you’ll find in your regular supermarket are sour and sweet instead of sour and salty. The saltiness can actually increase your thirst for liquids, which is not good if you’re already in danger of dehydration from heat. In addition, most people prefer to toss out the pickle juice after enjoying some bread n’ butter action, instead of recycling it into frozen foods. Just saying.

Link Removed Probably the same creepy kids who pick their scabs and eat French fries with mayo.



2.Pizza Beer

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Based on the wine glasses, these chefs apparently have a very loose concept of the term "beer."


What it is:
For the more mature among us (or at least, the ones who’ve reached the hallowed age of 21), there’s a cool treat that can satisfy several urges at once.
Now, you don’t have to wait for the tomato-and-garlicky goodness to heat up and then cool down so you can enjoy cold pizza this summer. You’ve got your pizza and your beer all rolled into one! This beer is brewed with tomato and spices in the mix, so as a bonus, you get all of the flavors and none of the fat.

Why it’s the perfect summer treat:
This drink amazingly wraps the whole pizza and beer thing up into one easy to swallow package, and in a (comparatively) healthier version to boot. And just think of the collective foodgasm to be had by the lactose intolerant population. Additionally, you can get drunk on pizza without having to turn the house temperature up to “swelter” by sticking a pie in the oven.
So… first rounds on me?

Why you might want to scrub your tongue afterwards:
If you just want to cool down, then beer is the perfect choice (as long as you don’t overindulge – it is, after all, dehydrating in large quantities). If you’re hungry, you’ll have a pizza. We get the feeling that mashing the two together would be like rinsing off your used pizza box with cold water just to get the last few flecks of pizza-y goodness down your gullet. Probably delicious for the first few seconds, and then it just makes you pine miserably for another slice.
Not only that, but you’re going to be royally confused when you wake up the next morning tasting pizza but can’t remember that you ordered any!

Link Removed So… first rounds on me?


3.Garlic Ice Cream

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Literally.


What it is:
This delicacy hails from Gilroy, that wondrous garlic-topia located in the middle of California. It’s true that they garlic everything there, but the ice cream has to be one of the odder things to come under the garlic spell.

Why it’s the perfect summer treat:
What more could you want than having the delicious taste of garlic linger on your tongue long after the ice cream has melted into a distant dream? Not only will it ward off vampires, it will also ward off any unwanted suitors who stagger by after too much Pizza Beer.

Why you might want to scrub your tongue afterwards:
Actually, you might be tempted to just cut the whole thing off. Have you ever been cutting garlic in the general vicinity of anything that you don’t want to taste like garlic? The hotheaded rogue of the onion family is famous for its permeating taste and aroma. Everything within the general vicinity will soak up the garlic flavor like a sponge. That garlic flavor isn’t going anywhere. It’s like that with garlic ice cream; the first few bites will be intriguing and interesting, but do you really want to be sucking garlic juice off your tongue for the rest of the day?

4.Ruibe

Link Removed Something tells me it’s not the ice we’re gonna be eating.


What it is:
You might have chanced upon frozen salmon before, say, if you couldn’t wait for it to thaw before slapping it on your bagel. Instead of being an impatient slob, did you know what you were actually Link Removed?

Why it’s the perfect summer treat:
Talk about a protein punch! Unless you’re chugging powdered cow milkshakes (and who isn’t?), chances are your summer diet of popsicles and ice chips hasn’t left you with much energy. You need some protein, and aside from trying to fry a couple of eggs on the sidewalk, what better way to get it than from your icy treats?
Nothing beats the heat like sunny-side up.

Why you might want to scrub your tongue afterwards:
As with the garlic, you get that lingering flavor of fish that stays with you no matter what you do. In addition, it’s much nicer to eat a quickly melting popsicle than it is to eat a slab of frozen raw fish that’s quickly turning into a slab of luke-warm, mushy raw fish.

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Nothing beats the heat like sunny-side up.


5.Coolpis (kimchee-flavored milk-based softdrink)

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There's absolutely no way that asking for a "tall glass of coolpis" could ever, ever backfire.


What it is:
If you know anything about the Link Removed, you’ll probably know that some (crazy) people love it, and that other people can’t stand to be within a hundred square miles of it. With that in mind, you can probably go ahead and assume this isn’t the drink for you regardless of how close this beverages is to the taste of the real deal (our guess: close enough).

Why it’s the perfect summer treat:
Why not wash down the rest of your tasty summer delicacies with the taste of fermented (i.e., rotten) cabbage, lots of pepper, and yogurt which may or may not be carbonated? (What is the Japanese definition of “soft drink,” anyways? It seems to be quite liberal.)

Why you might want to scrub your tongue afterwards:
Where to begin? There’s just so much wrong with the idea of this. First of all, if you’re trying to cool off, why add pepper? And while it may soothe the heat of some Indian dishes, will yogurt really cool you down on a hot day? And why leave the whole thing around to rot? It’s like a group of people got together and said “summer is a perfectly nice time of year, though a little hot. Why don’t we turn people’s attempts to escape the heat into a nightmare that will haunt you for the rest of your living days?”
 


Here's An Old Stanby....

Here are several recipes for "French Fried Ice Cream". My favorite: French Fried Ice Cream Volcano's. These have the actual "Lava Effect", which is pretty COOL....... I'd say

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P.S. -- A nice cold "Clausen Pickle" will do just as nice. Very refreshing, like really cold, "Handmade Salsa".
 


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