Ponder

Discussion in 'The Water Cooler' started by Super Sarge, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. Super Sarge

    Super Sarge New Member

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    PONDER

    •I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
    •There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
    •Life is sexually transmitted.
    •Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
    •The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
    •Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
    •Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
    •Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
    •All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
    •In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
    •How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
    •Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?
    13•If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
    •Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
    •If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
    •If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
    •Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
    •Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
    •Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
    •Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
     
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