My immediate thought was that you had escaped a gulag in the deepest depths of Siberia . With your natural gift for languages you had moved to the States . You had joined an ancient and mystical monastic order , The Title Changers . No Title was safe from your eagle eyes .
Your renown amongst the order were legendary . They called you cybercore the terror of titles
Yes the only way to keep your hands on a Gnome is to set it in concrete . They are notorious for there habit of wandering off ! They can have fatalistic thoughts as well . Dash themselves to pieces as soon as you look away . Kinda , Emo Gnome syndrome I guess ?