SATIRE Finnish Sisu

Discussion in 'The Water Cooler' started by Pauli, Jan 16, 2015.

  1. Pauli

    Pauli Extraordinary Member
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    A very short clip, and I won't translate it, because it's 80% bad words. But I guess you can get the meaning? It could be Politics too?

    Man just trying to get it done, gets a swamp, wants to turn it into a field to feed wife and kids - survival.

     
    #1 Pauli, Jan 16, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2015
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  2. Pauli

    Pauli Extraordinary Member
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    It's from a film based on a national epic Täällä Pohjantähden alla = Under the North Star, by Väinö Linna, a Finnish author and science academic. He also wrote Tuntematon sotilas = The unknown soldier, about our struggle in WW II, a film that is still shown every Independence Day, to Finnish draftmen also - to watch it there is not an option for them.

    The hefty figure is played by Veikko Sinisalo, one Finnish master in expression of words - I guess he could have competed with the best in British tradition although his rhetoric wouldn't have suited the Parliament... his choice of words... Personally, I do actually prefer both W:s, Shakespeare and Churchill. I don't like bad or F words, I'm too tidy for that, should perhaps wear a skirt...

    The first words in the book are, In the beginning there was the swamp, the mattock, and Jussi. Jussi of course being the guy with both bad language and a quite forward temper. He wasn't educated, he probably didn't use conditioning shampoo or 72 hours deodorant, I'm sure he wouldn't have understood anything about IT, but he surely represents the idea of Where there is a will, there is a way. He would have wrestled a bear with bare hands to protect nigh ones.
     
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  3. Pauli

    Pauli Extraordinary Member
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    To add more heat in the Sauna, I give you the short poem Suomalainen = A Finn, written by Jorma Etto:

    Suomalainen on sellainen, joka vastaa kun ei kysytä, A Finn is one who answers when you don't ask,
    kysyy kun ei vastata, ei vastaa kun kysytään, asks when you don't give an answer, doesn't answer when you ask,
    sellainen, joka eksyy tieltä, huutaa rannalla one, who gets lost on the way, shouts on the shore,
    ja vastarannalla huutaa toinen samanlainen: and on the opposite shore shouts another of the same kind:
    metsä raikuu, kaikuu, hongat humajavat. the woods blare, echo, the pines wind.
    Tuolta tulee suomalainen ja ähkyy, on tässä ja ähkyy, There comes a Finn and grunts, is here and grunts,
    tuonne menee ja ähkyy, on kuin löylyssä ja ähkyy there he goes and grunts, is like in Sauna heat and grunts
    kun toinen heittää kiukaalle vettä. when the other throws water on the Sauna stove.
    Sellaisella suomalaisella on aina kaveri, Such a Finn always has a comrade,
    koskaan se ei ole yksin, ja se kaveri on suomalainen. he's never alone, and the comrade is a Finn.
    Eikä suomalaista erota suomalaisesta mikään, And a Finn can't be separated from a Finn,
    ei mikään paitsi kuolema ja poliisi. except by death and Police.

    Translation mine. According to Bertolt Brecht, Finland is a nation that keeps silent in two languages - refers to the fact that we have two official languages, Finnish and Swedish. I'm one of the latter minority.

    Called the Land of thousand lakes, they were counted once, and the number was something like 232 thousand. Lots of water here, we export it. Want a swim, don't go to Florida, come here!

    Why am I writing this kind of stuff?
     
    #3 Pauli, Jan 23, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2015
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  4. whoosh

    whoosh Cooler King
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    I see why perhaps your country is called Finland...with so much water ;)
     
  5. Pauli

    Pauli Extraordinary Member
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    Yeah, we won't be the first to get dry. We do drink somewhat... perhaps in order to prepare?

    Don't wake the bear, you never know what comes. Here's Jyrki "Juice" Leskinen, in Memorandum, one of our popular music legends.

    His song "KAKSI VANHAA PIERUA" ~ TWO OLD FARTS



    Kaksi vanhaa pieruparkaa Two old farts
    Iltamukillansa At their evening cups
    Kuuskutluku hautaan karkaa Sixties 'scaping to grave
    Peittyy kukillansa Covered by its flowers

    Istuvat ja tarinoivat Sit and chat
    Kantakuppilassaan In their usual place
    Piiloutuen miten voivat Hiding how they can
    Ympäröivään massaan In surrounding mess

    Jukeboxi vessan luona Jukebox by the toilet
    Toivemusaa lykkää Pushing tunes as wished
    "Mitä se on tuokin kuona “What's the poop
    Kuka siitä tykkää Whoever likes it

    Minulla se tekee tenää Me it makes to feel ill
    Kun ne punkit huutaa When all the punks are shouting
    Vatsakaan ei toimi enää Stomach won't work good
    Täytyy ottaa suutaa" Need to get some soda”

    Toinen sanoo: "Onhan noita Other says: “Oh there's
    Pentuja, hohhoijaa" Those kids, ahh-haahaa” (yawning)
    Oisko sulla kolikoita? Got any coins?
    Laitan Francis Goyaa I'll put some Francis Goya

    On kalja laimennettu mutten The beer is watered but
    Usko että Rolling Stones Don't think that Rolling Stones
    Taikka maku turtunut en Or my taste is numbed, can't
    Muista kuinka mones" remember how many I've taken”

    "Mitä mieltä olet Suomen “What you think about Finnish
    nuorisosta" "Mauton youngsters” “Tasteless
    Ei pidä ottaa liikaa, huomen- Shouldn't take too many to-
    *hik*-na mä pesen auton" *hick*-morrow I need to wash the car"

    Kirkkaan otsan orvasketeen In the clearness of the forehead
    On jo tullut vako Has already appeared a cleft
    Vielä tuodaan tuoppi eteen Yet they get another pint
    Sitten päättyy pako Then it's end for fleeing

    Suojaan rivitalokodin In the sure of row house
    Suojaan kellokortin In the sure of timecard
    Ongelmat on enää Bodyn, Problems are no more than Body,
    Tsemppiksen ja Sportin Spirit and Sports

    ====================================================

    Not so very far from



    ====================================================

    We humans have the illness of forgetting the past. Like it's been stated, The only thing men learn about history is that they don't learn about history. - P.S. Ruckman

    Probably why our elders are forgotten, and anyone non-productive shall be used as the energy they have in their bodies, in the future
     
    #5 Pauli, Jan 27, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2015
  6. Pauli

    Pauli Extraordinary Member
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    Comments:

    - Fines. On December 3 I was caught with "Drink and drive". It wouldn't have caused any problems in most of European countries, but since we have this Czar kind of methods, I got four months of loss of driver's license, plus had to pay a fine of more than 60% of monthly net income. Freedom is great? At least, it comes with a cost?

    - Sports. We have it all the time, everywhere. It was relaxing to live in Denmark and Germany, when sports wasn't a necessity. Another thing, not mentioned here, is reading. To live in Finland, you must be a book nut. If thinking was as appreciated as reading, we would be the USA of the world. But reading doesn't automatically improve brain activity, like watching competitions on Tv doesn't.

    - Wild life. According to a survey, we should have about 230,000 lakes. Eating fish from fresh water has been recommended to be restricted since the Tsernobyl accident that polluted parts of our country, but slowly nature seems to overcome the foolishness of man.

    - Corruption. Whoever thinks our politicians are better than yours, is definitely a dreamer. We do have a sense of honesty, but only Heaven knows.

    - Female part... not so wild about it. It's said that a Finnish man never gets separated / free of his mother --- gals rule?

    - Santa, he lives on Korvatunturi, https://www.fonecta.fi/kartat/korvatunturi?lon=29.29724544171608&lat=68.0746334160738&z=16, there's actually two of these, named Ear Fjeld. Danes claim he lives on Greenland, but what would they know? Although being the happiest people on Earth, they eat the most unhealthy food in the world. Might have dimmed their understanding? Quite interesting, the home of Santa is near our Eastern border, whatever that means. Not infiltration, I hope.

    - Coffee, I drank 80 cups per day, at my wildest, now I'm lucky to be down to two cups per day. The reverse is, I need naps. According to some opinions, Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of pea soup, some think he sold it for a bowl of coffee, Genesis 26:27-34. A strong drink, anyhow. And a cheap price for ones' birthright.

    - Education. The all too far widened concept of "do what you want to do" has made the teachers the most threatened group. They are more threatened than guards and other security personal, more threatened than the police. The only more threatened would be the Army in warfare, but that comes with the job, I guess no one complains about it. But teachers are unarmed, trying to educate they don't really have the right to raise their voice, so as "not to cause traumas", or slap on the fingers. Who are the bullies?

    - The Polar Night: light not fading, darkness no come, I recommend the film Insomnia, where Al Pacino states "It's only ten o'clock" and thinks it's a.m, but the Alaskan police correct him: "It's p.m." Well, Mr. Pacino goes nuts, having no darkness in where to sleep. The sun doesn't go below the horizon, and then we have the opposite in winter: the sun doesn't rise above the horizon. No wonder southerners are amazed, How can people live here? Yeah, we can. We have always managed it, and we will. To the end of time.

    - Sauna, it's a classic. It's an extra blood vein we have. Our renowned President Urho Kekkonen was given birth in a sauna, in quite modest circumstances. I remember an American Evangelist tell of a person who asked him, Under what sign were you born, referring to horoscope, and this Mr. Sherman answered, I was born under the sign "Deliveries".

    - Ice swimming. No thanks. I don't like water, except for drink, and a place where I can catch fish. It's wet, and what dry land creature likes wet? I like dry, I have problems with this modern necessity to shower all the time, I agree with Mr. Linkola who writes, From a practically hairless mammal who walks upright, most dirt falls down by itself - not that I think man is a mammal, I think we are men = humans, but the idea is ok.
     
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  7. Pauli

    Pauli Extraordinary Member
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    I do some buy and sell, quite much with films and TV-series. Some things I don't deal with, like p*rn, and I've had difficulties with horror since they sometimes go too far, they just get too sick, I've wondered, do I really want to sell this?

    Well, I introduce you to the utmost horror: The Finnish Language. Where Anglo-Saxon uses several words, we have invented the way to efficiency: we just put the words together. No need for the "space" button. You save time, you save your keyboard, and you save electricity.

    Off we go - Apollo 13 was a peace (!) of cake compared with this.

    =================================================



    Title: "Minä puhun suomea, mikä on sinun supervoimasi?"

    1. Henkilöllisyystodistus - ID card.
    2. Elintarviketurvallisuusvirasto - the office of security of food supplies
    3. Apteekkitavaraintarkastuslaboratorio - the laboratory for checking
    pharmaceutical supplies
    4. Karnevaalikaravaani - a carneval caravane
    5. Petoeläinporovahinkoarviopartiointikustannukset - the estimation of costs
    for costs of patrolling the estimation of what compensations should be
    paid for damages predators have caused to reindeers
    6. Hääyö - wedding night
    7. Jäätelötötterö - ice cream cone
    8. Suurlähettiläs - ambassador
    9. Avantouinti - ice swimming
    10. Euroydinasesopimusasiapöytäkirja - protocol of agreement of Europe about
    nuclear weapons
    11. Petoeläinporovahinkoarviopartiointikustannukset - the estimation of costs
    for costs of patrolling the estimation of what compensations should be
    paid for damages predators have caused to reindeers
    12. Mustavalkotäplähylkeennahkasaapasrasvatahnarasia - a case with boot grease
    from the skin of the black and white spot seale
    13. Petoeläinporovahinkoarviopartiointikustannukset - the estimation of costs
    for costs of patrolling the estimation of what compensations should be
    paid for damages predators have caused to reindeers
    14. Peruspalveluliikelaitoskuntayhtymä - a communal concern of communal services
    for providing basic social needs
    15. Älykkysosamäärä - IQ
    16. Lentokonesuihkuturbiiniapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas - lower military officer
    student in assisting mechanics of flight turbojet
    17. Kolmivaihevaihtovirtakilovattituntimittari - kilowatt per hours measure instrument for
    three phase AC current
    18. Suuryritysrypäs - a cluster of big companies
    19. Euroydinasesopimusasiapöytäkirja - protocol of agreement of Europe about
    nuclear weapons
    20. Kulttuuriasiainneuvos - counselor of cultural affairs
    21. Ammattikorkeakoulukokeilulupapäätös - decree in decision of granting a
    permission for test in professional training at higher level school
    22. Lentokonesuihkuturbiiniapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas - lower military officer
    student in assisting mechanics of flight turbojet
    23. Avantouinti - ice swimming
    24. Kuumailmapallolentolahjakortti - free ticket to ride in a hot air balloon
    25. Taidehistorioitsija - art historian
    26. Peruspalveluministeri - minister of basic social services
    27. Älykkysosamäärä - IQ
    28. Suuryritysrypäs - a cluster of big companies
    29. Prikaatinkenraali - brigade general
    30. Suuryritysrypäs - a cluster of big companies
    31. Taidenäyttelytila - art exhibition space
    32. Suuryritysrypäs - a cluster of big companies
    33. Lentokonesuihkuturbiiniapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas - lower military officer
    student in assisting mechanics of flight turbojet
    34. Ammattikorkeakoulukokeilulupapäätös - decree in decision of granting a
    permission for test in professional training at higher level school
    35. Kulttuuriasiainneuvos - counselor of cultural affairs
    36. Kolmivaihevaihtovirtakilovattituntimittari - kilowatt per hours measure instrument for
    three phase AC current
    37. Euroydinasesopimusasiapöytäkirja - protocol of agreement of Europe about
    nuclear weapons

    =================================================

    Post script: "Tämä video luotiin Designnäyttelyyn Suomen Design Foorumiin "4 x Suunnittele
    Onnellinen Tunti" suomalaisessa paviljongissa Frankfurtin Bookfairissa 2014.

    Kiitämme kaikkia osallistujia & Design Forum Finlandia."

    =================================================

    My personal gratitude goes to Franziska Holzmann & Suvi Schedewie.

    If you lived through this, you may be able to understand why I sometimes produce weird sentences. It's not me, probably my genes? At least, it's always easy to blame parents or forefathers, eh? When asked you raise your arm and exclaim, "It wasn't me".

    I will try to make an effort to get an audio done with proper Finnish pronunciation. It took me three hours to get this done, unless someone starts paying me... brrrrrrr, it may take a few days.
     
    #7 Pauli, Mar 26, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2015
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  8. Pauli

    Pauli Extraordinary Member
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    Oh my, I'm probably getting red cheeks for the rest of my life, but I did it, hope the link works,

    http://www.mediafire.com/download/fj98djbhe2p46y8/Minä_puhun_suomea,_mikä_on_sinun_supervoimasi.mp2

    The link seems to work, but you probably need to download it. It seems to download ok. I'm sorry if I don't sound very charming. It's a bit messy too, you need to do some synchronizing.

    ========================================

    I believe I'm about to reach the end of my "Finn adventure". I'll add The Final Word, with an expression of love towards my nation and people, whom I hate the most, and love the dearest.

    It's a song by Irwin Goodman, whom I have mentioned earlier in http://windowsforum.com/threads/irwin-goodman.190805/

    There are a few decades between the songs, but the man doesn't seem to have lost his temper, nor his sense of humor. It's all about protest, and even his words about beating wives - which I dislike strongly - are meant as criticism. Personally, I've never punched a female, I did fight with my best friend as we were kids, but we were the best of friends. And both boys.

    Cannot except myself from making a note about names. Irwin is a creation of the Finnish word irviä, it means to mock, joke, grimace, irvin is 1st singular, and Goodman... well I don't know if he meant he was a good man mocking, or if he was mocking good men. His real name was Antti Hammarberg. His partner was Veikko "Vexi" Salmi, who adapted the artist name Emil von Retee, where the first name is a translation from the Roman Empire, Aemilius, a noble name, emphasized by the "von", and retee comes from "reteä", means relaxed, non-caring, without trouble.

    So, we had a pair of "kilowattituntimittari", heh. Or actually, a pair of kW generators.



    Joskus aikain alussa, kun luotiin maailmaa, In beginning of time, creating world,
    niin tarvittiin myös kansaa kauas susirajan taa! you also needed people far beyond wolf line!
    Vahingossa Luoja oudon prototyypin loi, By acccident Creator made a strange prototype,
    ja tuumi, että pakkasessa tuokin elää voi! and thought, in frost that will live as well!

    Niin syntyi kaurahattu, rehupuntti, punaniska, perusjuntti! We got oat hats, forage legs, rednecks, hillbillies!
    Oikea härrmäläinen! A true Tavastian!
    Kaurahattu, rehupuntti, punaniska, perusjuntti! Oat hats, forage legs, rednecks, hillbillies!
    Häijy ja itsepäinen! Nasty and stubborn!

    Outo kansa korvessansa rällästi ja joi! Weird people in backwoods revelled and drank!
    Ja lämpimikseen muijiansa turpiin mukiloi! And to get warm, beat their women!
    Selvinpäin ei turhaa sanaa kuultu niillä main! Sober you couldn't hear a needless word!
    Ja juovuksissa kiroiltiin ja puukoteltiin vain! And drunken it was cursing and knifing!

    Niin syntyi kaurahattu, rehupuntti, punaniska, perusjuntti! We got oat hats, forage legs, rednecks, hillbillies!
    Oikea härrmäläinen! A true Tavastian!
    Kaurahattu, rehupuntti, punaniska, perusjuntti! Oat hats, forage legs, rednecks, hillbillies!
    Häijy ja itsepäinen! Nasty and stubborn!

    Alta kulmain kyräilivät juntit toisiaan! Under their eye brows they glared at each other!
    Ja mökki nousi joka niemeen sekä notkelmaan! And a cottage rose to each cape and dell!
    Korpimaata riitti, mutta silti riideltiin! Backwoods were plenty, but still they argued!
    Ja turvauduttiin kirveeseen tai vaikka vesuriin! And trusted in axe or even a billhook!

    Niin syntyi kaurahattu, rehupuntti, punaniska, perusjuntti! We got oat hats, forage legs, rednecks, hillbillies!
    Oikea härrmäläinen! A true Tavastian!
    Kaurahattu, rehupuntti, punaniska, perusjuntti! Oat hats, forage legs, rednecks, hillbillies!
    Häijy ja itsepäinen! Nasty and stubborn!

    Täällä on jo meitä yli neljä miljoonaa, Now we are more than four million,
    vaan vieläkään ei löydy mistään kansaa vastaavaa! but you cannot find a people comparable!
    Pari-kolme puukotetaan joka perjantai, A few or three get stabbed each friday,
    ja sitten vielä mukiloidaan muijat - Totta kai! and then the wives get beaten – Of course!

    Niin syntyi kaurahattu, rehupuntti, punaniska, perusjuntti! We got oat hats, forage legs, rednecks, hillbillies!
    Oikea härrmäläinen! A true Tavastian!
    Kaurahattu, rehupuntti, punaniska, perusjuntti! Oat hats, forage legs, rednecks, hillbillies!
    Häijy ja itsepäinen! Nasty and stubborn!

    ========================================

    By the way, I've often heard that Finland has the most beautiful women in the world.

    And don't forget our rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... it's Härrrrrrrrrrrrrrmäläinen!
     
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  9. Pauli

    Pauli Extraordinary Member
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    You're awesome, whoosh. I was quite afraid I would get my first dislike through this post of mine, since it's not a soft melody, but rather harsh.

    Having mentioned our gorgeous women, not to forget the beauty of those of other nationalities, I take the liberty to show how handsome a Finnish male may look, I change my picture for a while. That's right, it's me, I'm in the reserve, I may look slightly worn, or something not-so-typically military. But I have guys who look more like bikers and my adjutant, a Fair Lady, has hair to her lumbar region and who, according to all permission specifically given to women, can put her hair as she wants - I'm more like bound to short hair and blaah-blaah. They have = them being my seniors, thought that my outlook is like that of Pelle Miljoona = Clown Million, a punk artist from 1980's, seen right below. They think I should tidy out. They don't like the way I put out from my beret.

    [​IMG]

    But like General Bernard Law Montgomery said, "I was well beaten myself, and I am better for it." And he was a man to beat both Rommel and Patton, in fact, whatever one may think of it.

    It's the will that counts, it's the effort. "Never have so many..." - Winston Churchill. Sometimes a man just has to do what he has to do.

    Well, I'll tidy out. One needs to show an example, and looking hideous isn't really the way. Troops may be dirty, but a commander never can. Except when having gone through mud and water and snow and ice, together with troops. Then we may look sleazy. But I'll be proud of that too. In my troops, we have a tradition of crawling 300m in mud and heat and snow, and when we get to the end, what do we do? We crawl back home... we do it, and I'm not the best in it. I'm actually the worst in it, as I'm the worst in Cooper test, and as I'm in shooting. But there's something between my ears that counts.

    I will never accept anyone to take rule of us, be it even Americans, or Russians, who the latter have gone for it several times. I'm going for training Thursday February 16th, 2 a.m. I believe in saving my own - not by starting a war, but preventing one. Done with pride, soldiers don't really start wars, politicians and such do, soldiers merely die. And to be quite honest, I wish I could receive the first bullet, that way I wouldn't have to think any more. I might even get a post mortem promotion to General, and what would be nicer on your tombstone than that?

    "A true Tavastian?" Go figure...

    I believe and trust Western Democracy, I think the most beautiful words may be the words in U.S. constitution, "The pursuit of happiness". They dared to say merely pursuit of it, they didn't find it necessary to define it - what was or is happiness? What about the happiness of a mass murderer? Can you defend it?

    But persons making the statement, had the boldness to say, Pursuit of happiness. I find it remarkable. They simply had the b*lls, and they were, in fact, Bible Believing Christians. But then, Jesus Christ and Apostles got the equipment too? I dare to say!

    Not to forget that Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi and/or Nelson Mandela or even Jack London, or Florence Nightingale had it. We need not to, or must not, cannot and will not be forgiven if we do, forget great persons of path. We are obliged. In The Soviet Union, dissidents were sentenced to psychiatric treatment: as the System was considered perfect, anyone criticizing it was considered mentally sick - what a joke, in true Kurt Vonnegut style?

    Or the words by JFK, "For, in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal.”


    Never fear? Can't say I don't do that or haven't done it, but it would be amazing. To follow in the footsteps of great characters.

    =========================

    Most truly lasting characters were more or less peaceful. Right now, we have Parliamentary election in Finland, and one thing we have, is a fear for Russia. I've constantly reminded that civilians should live as civilians, and life should continue as usual. If something would happen, leave it to the ones who can deal with it. If farmers stop growing potatoes and cows won't milk, fish can't be caught, what will any of us eat? Go on with your lives as they are, if your car breaks down, contact a service person - the exact same thing if anything else would break down. Straight forward, just go ahead. "Never mind" anything.

    To rule by fear is the worst rule ever. Won't serve anyone.
     
    #9 Pauli, Apr 13, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2015
  10. Pauli

    Pauli Extraordinary Member
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    I changed my picture back to the normal. I think it's better.
     

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