Oh buddy you have not scratched the surface of how badly thought out Windows 8 is on updates.
I have to uninstall some of my drivers like my sound and video drivers then install windows 8 version for a update to work.
If I do not do this the WINDOWS UPDATE NEVER FINISHES or says my hardware is unsupported.
My hardware is a MacPro Quad core Xeon, the same exact specs as a DELL SERVER version.
So quess what any HP and Dell with same hardware has to do the same thing.
Now how is that for a crappy update software to the public?